How does the silent treatment kill relationships?
i’m gonna make this story fictional. not based on anything, if it is, i didn’t do it on purpose. well, i’ll try not to. drama from everyday life is quite interesting. okay, so maybe i used bits and pieces of this and that…
This is the story of Natalia and Gavin. They’ve known each other for about 2 years, they met in high school. they’ve been liking each other, and everyone knew about it. it was like they weren’t boyfriend/girlfriend, and they didn’t go out, technically.they were talking. they felt that what they have would last forever. you know, getting married, and a house and kids someday. but all that changed one summer. It was the end of senior year for Gavin, Junior year for Natalia. Gavin was going to move to a college in Seattle at the end of the summer to study to become a minister. Natalia had her own battle with her rebellion toward her parents. they both have their imperfections, but they truly love each other. they began to argue more frequently, Gavin saying that Natalia wasn’t mature enough. Natalia wasn’t happy because she could no longer seek comfort that Gavin gave her from her hectic home life. and on top of it all, they were both scared of what would happen at the end of the summer. they held on to each other for such a long time, they didn’t want to let each other go. after a long conversation over the phone, which they did every night, they began to argue again. they tried to be patient with each other, but they thought they were right, and the other was wrong. so in the end, they hung up unhappy. the next morning they figured the other would call back and apologize, so neither of them got a phone call. Gavin went online, analyzing every detail of Natalia’s myspace, from the song, to the status message, to the headline, looking for any hint of what seemed to be their breakup. Natalia waited at the phone, and sought comfort in food. they were both really sad, and confused at this sudden period of “the silent treatment”. both weren’t sure what this meant, were they really over? but they still love each other. they didn’t want the other talking to other guys or girls. so what could they do? the solution seemed simple, to call, right? but that night, when Natalia called Gavin, as usual, she could sense that Gavin felt uneasy, and maybe a bit hostile. she couldn’t blame him, she thought he ended things with her. they were both nervous and confused. so obviously, there wasn’t a lot of talking in the particular phone conversation. but Gavin couldn’t take it anymore.
“What happened?” he asked.
“What do you mean Gavin?” she replied.
Gavin asked, “Does this mean we’re over?”
Surprised, Natalia said, “Is it?”
“Well, i saw your myspace, and you didn’t call me.”
“I thought you were going to call me. I’m sorry.” right when Natalia said this, Gavin apologized too.
“I’m sorry baby.” he said,” i don’t want things with us to end.”
“me neither.” Natalia replied.
“but baby, we do need to be careful.”
“you’re right babe. i’m just scared of what’s gonna happen.”
Gavin was scared too, “me too.” he hesitated, but continued, “baby?”
“yes Gavin?” she listened intently, waiting for what he was going to say.
“i know we were never really going out, but i’m willing to wait for you.”
When Natalia heard this, she knew what her reply would be, “i’ll wait for you too.”
so Gavin and Natalia decided to wait it out, and trust God with what would happen in their future, because He’s the one who ultimately holds everything.
okay, so as i was typing this i realized how sappier and sappier it got. and it was getting kinda lame. and i got off topic. in this story, the silent treatment didn’t really kill the relationship, it didn’t “murder” much. but i think one important thing is that communication can go a long way. i’ve learned from others and from experience that just talking to a person helps. and you’ve got to be open and honest. you have to act out of love, not kill them.
Help me build up my relationships, with my friends, and family, and with special certain people. help me to act out of love, to have patience, and to have understanding for people. strengthen my friendships, whether it be those from the past, or in the present. bless my friends, and the friendships that will last a lifetime. Help me to be a better friend.